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1. Favourite Music? Pop, I only recognise classical stuff from pant liner commercials, Bowie in his hey day, Debbie Harry of course, Leonard Cohen and I'm afraid I thrill to Kenny Rogers. 2. Favourite Films? St Trinians, Carrie, The X Men, Terminator. 3. Favourite Intoxicant? Praise and alcohol, a nice very cold Chardonnay is always acceptable, but then again I am quite capable of enjoying a can of special brew on a park bench. 4. Which man or woman (living or dead) would you most like to have dinner with? Diana of course, Vlad The Impaler , Wallis Simpson. 5. What or who inspired you to become a writer? Revenge. 6. If you had another job before you became a writer, what was it? Stand up Comic/actress - still dabble and if the worst comes to the worst I'm an incredibly incompetent waitress. 7. Of the books you have written, do you have a favourite? The next. 8. What is your favourite book? American Psycho, The Swish of the Curtain, Groupie by Jenny Fabian. 9. Who is your favourite contemporary author? J.K Rowling , the girl who wrote 'Ark baby'(Liz Jennson?), Polly Samson, Fay Weldon, Laurie Graham, Poppy Z Brite. 10. If you had to choose one book to take to a desert island, what would it be? An inflatable one. 11. What book are you reading? Hey Yeah Right Get a Life by Helen Simpson. 12. What is the first book you can remember reading? Topsy and Tim. 13. Name the book you consider to be most overrated? Topsy and Tim. 14. Name the book you consider to be most underrated? Groupie by Jenny Fabian. 15. Who is your favourite character (from a book)? Maddy from Swish of the Curtain - I was that girl. 16. Which book would you like to see filmed? Behind the Scenes of a Museum. 17. What was the last film you saw? Oh Brother Where Art Thou? 18. What was the happiest moment of your life? Passing my 11 plus, the baby having all her bits, winning the Perrier. 19. For what cause would you die? The right to smoke probably. 20. Which decade would you most like to live in? The 2060's because then I will have made it to a hundred and will have the right to be a horrible cantankerous old bitch. 21. What is your greatest extravagance? Shoes, peroxide, Marks & Spencer ready meals. 22. How do you relax? An Indian take-away, a bottle of Chardonnay, Frazier on the telly. 23. What makes you stressed? Other peoples success. 24. What makes you laugh? Bumptiousness, my best friend and co-writer Julie Balloo, old people falling over and toddlers dropping their ice creams. 25. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Shallowness. 26. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Meanness. 27. Where and how would you spend your perfect day? Ice skating at the Rockerfella Centre in New York in the morning, with flags flying and a blue sky, sunbathing in Calvi-Corsica in the afternoon (there's this beach I know) then round to Martin and Clare's (mates in South London) for a take-away with Geof (partner )and Phoebe(the girl child) in the evening. I would also have managed to buy several pairs of shoes and received a mega telly contract. Finally when I fell asleep I would dream the perfect stand up comedy set and remember every word in the morning and I wouldn't have a hang over and oddly enough I would have lost half a stone and grown good hair. 28. What is the most important lesson life has taught you? I need a cleaner. 29. How would you like to be remembered? In John Paul Getty's will. 30. What Do You Think of the Booker Prize? I despise all awards unless I win them. 31. Which historical figure do you most admire? Boadacia. 32. Which contemporary figure do you identify with? On a bad day - Paula Yates, on a good day Dorothy Parker only with better legs. 33. What is your favourite quotation? "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me" Hunter S Thompson |